Today I drank one gallon of water, four large pots of ginger and lemon tea, and a liter of orange seltzer. I ate two kale salads, a vat of ginger-chicken-garlic soup, and tons of Vitamin C. I slathered a jar of Vicks Vaporub on my chest, nostrils, and feet, which I encased in cozy fleece though I normally don’t wear socks even in the dead of winter. Also I took two salt-lavender-eucalyptus baths. Which is to say: I am so sick of being sick that I am admitting I am sick. I stayed home all day, treating my symptoms–napped, lit candles, meditated, shuffled my butt to James Brown (yep). Generally heeded what my higher self was telling me.
Body as alarm clock, ain’t it always the way.
Let’s call this malingering cold the Winter Solstice Detox, because it’s coaxing me into shedding 2018 toxins along with December 21’s tremendous energy release. Don’t get me wrong. The origins of the illness are hardly high-falutin’: late nights, too many cocktails, general dissociation. But they’ve been fueled by resignation, romantic rejection, false bravado, and I’m letting all that go–everything blocking my voice and heart from a bigger home in the world.
So how can you ready yourself to shine as the days lengthen again? What can you release? Friday is the darkest day of the year, and during that long, long night, bid farewell to everything keeping you in the dark. Then light a candle for everything you wish to make brighter.
Painting: Mickalene Thomas.
Daylights Saving Time today. Most view it as an extra hour of sleep. I view it as an extra hour of night.
In my head it’s a rhythm, a mantra, a sick, squalid croon. It’s why the Legend and I have fallen into old habits–him coming around only when it suits him, never ushering me into his world. Me swallowing whatever crumbs he offers, blowing up badly when they become indigestible.
Fall back, fall back.
The light is more beautiful, also more precious. There’s so little of it, you see.
Yesterday I met with my eldest goddaughter on the Upper East Side. Both of us live in Brooklyn but make formal friendship dates while getting acquainted as adults. She is in her early 30s and I am in my late 40s, high time we learned to appreciate each other as peers. We met when I was a recent college graduate and she an elementary schooler, so our relationship has undergone serious growing pains over the years. Me relying too heavily on her preternaturally adult wisdom, doing her the same disservice done to me decades before. Continue Reading →