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Mary Quite Contrary

sideways meI am in an existentialist funk. I almost modified that to “a bit of an existentialist funk” but you’re either in an existentialist funk or you’re not. I am in one.

Part of this stems from an overarching, extremely icky feeling that more things are ending than beginning. In fact, that’s all of it, though that feeling has many, many subsets. One of those subsets concerns this very blog. I try not to get too meta here, and in general am a big believer that if you can’t say anything nice, keeping mum is best. But lately that’s meant that I’m always keeping mum so I’m going to write through my ennui if only as a (wan) way to wave hello. Perhaps as a plus I’ll iron something out. Continue Reading →

Lilacs and Chives for Everyone

Screen Shot 2016-05-11 at 8.42.07 PMThe weather has been cold, damp, interminably British. I inadvertently cut off most of my mermaid hair in what I’m calling the retrograde special.  And I really, really hate Hallmark holidays. Under the auspices of “if you can’t saying anything nice,” it’s seemed wisest to keep mum. (Pun intended, obviously.) But head honcho Jupiter finally went direct again, I’m starting to see how my new cut can reference Debbie Harry and Veronica Lake, and the weather today was gorgeous–strong sunshine, gentle warmth. I actually dared venture to the greenmarket, where I found the loveliest things: skate, farm-fresh eggs, chives with pretty purple buds, red and green shell-leafed lettuces, ramps, sheep milk yogurt, you name it. Best of all, most everyone I love seemed happy, which made this extroverted introvert happy. So I’ve decided to officially emerge from my shell. On this mild May evening, I send you lilacs from my bedside table, the snuggle of a certain permakitten, and the peach and violet sunset gracing everyone smart enough to look. In the immortal words of Mr. O’Shea Jackson, “Today was a good day.”

Still Smell as Sweet

largeOn the way home last night from a lovely evening of books and dinner and drinks with old friends, I felt happy enough about my blue and gold nest with soft sweet sheets and soft sweet permakitten and soft sweet quiet awaiting me. Then I remembered it was peony season and sighed just the tiniest bit. Once, just once, I thought, I’d like a suitor who was the type to buy me peonies. I granted myself one second of self-pity standing in the cold rainy darkness, staring up at my empty apartment outlined by the night sky. Then I stopped at the corner deli and bought $50 dollars of pink and crimson and magenta blossoms–heavenly, heavenly scented and tinted and textured–and came home and filled all my vases with their beauty. There are harder problems to solve–few, in fact, with such joyous solutions.

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy