Archive | Spirit Matters

This Is Really Happening

Do you hate when people tell you about their dreams? I don’t. I like hearing about them, and I like sharing mine. In this messed-up world, it’s the only time we talk about the divine unconscious, which is why dreams often offer an ideal entry point to my Ruby Intuition sessions. Goddess knows dreams reveal all.

Last night: A dream of tiny vicerous* teeth embedded in the diamond ring he once gave me; the nightmares always nightmares of other people owning my body because i am pregnant. i did not wish either state, either title. I did not wish to bear young nor be a mother. Nor did I wish to wed nor be a wife. Wife and mother, mother and wife: no thank you. I wished for writer, actor, woman of the world. And i knew by age 20 that it was a fancy of the wealthy–a fancy of the fancy, if you will–to believe that women did not have to choose …men butch people really didn’t but that’s because even in 2018 they were the exception to a golden rule if they made parenting their raison d’être. The miracle was they could choose at all and from an early age i knew my choice but did not own it until I was nearly the age I am as i write this. you are not living up to this calling, whisper the voices as i drift to the surface of consciousness. you must be of service not just nervous….

I wake with dread.

*a word my unconscious manufactured meaning “viciously, viciferously visceral.”

Semi-Shiksa Says: A Freilichen Purim!

Happy happy happy Purim! I always am glad to celebrate this Jewish holiday, but it’s especially welcome on the last day of this dreadful month. Here’s to saving your life through speaking the truth, and to the bright bold energy of Esther cutting through dark ages, even this one. So much love, so many blessings from this brucha bruja’s all-of-a-kind family to yours. Chag Purim Sameach! 

The Desert Dystopia That Is Now

Pictured here please find the AV materials I made to accompany last night’s dream. It was one of the worst I’ve ever had.

I was stuck in the California desert in some sort of sprawling hotel-convenience store complex in which I was nonetheless expected to look and act camera-ready for a tv show for which I was about to get picked up though I had to walk six miles in the desert to meet the car. Also the show itself was morally bankrupt and as I was walking there I got attacked by a bunch of white teenaged male meth addicts with huge seeping herpes lesions on their faces and penises hanging out of their zippers like stunted third legs; naturally these young men were slinging huge guns over their shoulders. I got away by insulting their intelligence and the size of their organs–through humiliating them, essentially, which is how I have resisted most male sexual assault and harassment in my waking life–but I lost my way in the process. I was walking in circles having lost my phone computer clothing wallet and o my context; was bleeding and naked and dangerously deydrated and sunburnt; and was sorry but not shocked that the only response of the tv people, when they finally stumbled upon me, was annoyance that I was not more camera-ready. Continue Reading →

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy