The Russian Dolls We Carry
I broke up with the Legend–or, really, my relationship with the Legend ended–because he ignored me in front of his ex-wife’s current wife and her infant son. If that sounds complicated, it’s actually a lot more complicated, but the bottom line is he clung to the sense of family that his ex and her clan provided him, and played uncle to her son as well as her sister’s kid. I’d always empathized with his desire to do so. But this meant that he was ignoring me in front of his people, and the sting was profound. It was hardly the first time he’d thrown me under a bus, but I suddenly saw how little he’d ever rally for me, how little I meant to him, and that only one path extended from that moment on my personal timeline.
And that path was Legend-free.
That’s exactly how I saw it. Even as I blew up at him later, even as I railed to friends, even as I masturbated with a violent grief, some part of me already was watching dispassionately from a future I now knew existed. A future in which this man I loved had no place.
That’s how I explained the breakup to people as soon as I was sure it would stick. With concern and maybe a little ennui knitting their features, they’d say, “How are you doing?” And I’d say, “I’m in the future now.”
I knew it was true even though I didn’t yet understand what I was saying. Continue Reading →
Message from the Management: Heart Power
We are gliding into a more matter-of-factly fourth-dimensional, energy-is-matter Age of Aquarius. Think I’m being lofty? Consider the new-fangled electronics you count on that even ten years ago would have been inconceivable. Consider how the pull of digital information is now as real as the pull of “real life.” And consider how speculative fiction and animation now deliver more plausible interpretations of modern life than the navel-gazing, self-important balderdash that conventionally passes as serious fiction and live-action. It all comes down to a new plane in which gravity responds to time like any other object. Our feelings fold chronologies and our passions warp each other’s paths. Continue Reading →
New Moon in Aquarius: So Fresh
Oprah, the ultimate Aquarius goddess
All new moons are fresh starts but tonight’s new moon in Aquarius feels extra fresh. Case in point: TLC’s “Waterfalls” just came on my shuffle–a fresh song about narcissism and unhealed trauma that has resurfaced in the zeitgeist since it was featured on the Netflix series Russian Doll, a fresh exploration of the 4D blackhole that is narcissism and unhealed trauma.
The show and song feel mega-meta-fresh because Aquarius is not just the water-bearer of the zodiac. She is the metaphysical healer–the one who coolly sifts through the worst detritus of the universe and puts it to order. When we have an Aquarius new moon while the sun is also in this sign, we are being given the most comprehensive and compassionate perspective humans can achieve. This means that, especially as wish-granter Jupiter is supporting this new moon and Venus is in stabilizing Capricorn, we can improve our lives collectively.
Aquarius is not interested in base desires nor materialism–in empty personal acquisition of any sort. But she is interested in helping you improve the human condition with interstellar magic. So tonight visualize how you are meant to serve yourself and others. 
Recognize and honor your calling, what essential cog you are in the celestial machine. Then tomorrow do something kind for something or someone else. We talk a lot about radical self-care. But the challenge of Aquarius Season is to grasp that all acts of compassion are radical self-care. How we help others is how we help ourselves. And how we receive others’ help is how we recognize we’re beloved children of the universe.
During this lunar cycle, practical magic is extra practical and extra magical so schedule a Ruby Intuition session to access your own. I am doing readings every Wednesday and Saturday. Get in touch!