Venus Retrograde Spares No Star

This may be the most annoyingly astrological and celeb-obsessed post that this former Us Weekly staffer will ever write but I can’t help being amused that Jennifer Aniston finally got remarried during the always-blighted Venus Retrograde. One look at the smug mugs she and her new spouse are sporting here and you just know that the reprieve from the sadsack single girl public persona she cultivated for 10 years is bound to be short-lived. As my grandmother used to say, “Good luck to you and the Red Sox!” Add in the recently announced Gwen Stefani-Gavin Rossdale and Ben Affleck-Jennifer Garner divorces, not to mention the resurrection of the rumors that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett (Smith) are on the rocks, and, Ruth, you know it’s the truth: Lady Venus spares no star. I can’t pretend I don’t take solace in this fact as she guides me through the burnt embers formerly known as my love life.

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy