This morning as we were both exiting the bakery—and this is not a bustling city coffee shop but a lone building on an empty country road—the driver of this BMW nearly knocked my coffee over as she pushed ahead and let the door swing back on my face. Without apologizing the bird hopped in her car and then—no joke—nearly ran me over as I was crossing the parking lot. When I saw her bumper sticker, I burst out laughing. “Lady, you will never be MY yoga teacher.” In a battle of influences, masshole bests om shanthi every time.