The Dream That Was Not a Dream

Last night’s dream wasn’t even a dream.

It was a download. A dispatch.

I was told now things in my life were real. Not bad, not good. Just that I’d evolved past clinging to unsubstantial, unsustainable solutions like they were life rafts. Unavailable lovers; disordered habits; disposable things.

I was reminded that I still had a book I’d written. A child’s testimony I was ready to rewrite from the perspective of the loving parent—

The parent she never had.

The parent I never had.

The parent my parents never had.

I was shown transforming this book into essays, sifting through its materials with the concentrated care you’d show a child.

That I still had a purpose. That in fact I still had a child.

Me.

I am crying as I write this.

Getting older isn’t necessarily harder. It’s not necessarily sadder.

But you feel everything more, you hide from it less.

You do that, or you die.

One way or another, you die.

And that’s a lot to bear.

Stark. Solitary.

But not necessarily alone.

Here’s Looking at You, 2022

I’ve never put much stock in the changing of the Christian calendar, but these days I appreciate all opportunities to reevaluate and reboot. To that end, I wanted to share the story of this image. First I saw it in a bookstore, then a friend sent it as a postcard to me, then I began to see the same phrase spray-painted around the city. First I read it as sort of Rodney Dangerfield bit. You know—“What’s a guy gotta do to get some love?” Then, a depressive cry— “Where is the love in this forsaken world?!” Finally, as the phrase kept showing up, I recognized it as a clue in a mystical scavenger hunt.

For I’ve had my fair share of hard times, and in my personal life it’s sometimes made me hard on myself and others. Even a little cynical for a professional intuitive. But as this phrase “where is the love?” appeared to me again, again, again, I realized it wasn’t asking me to ignore the grief, manipulation, greed, injustice I saw in the world. It was simply inviting me to also look for the love. To recognize the transpersonal compassion that is as elemental as gravity. The kindness that stubbornly flourishes like a weed in a sidewalk crack.

The more I looked for this love, the more I saw it—in the parks, in a stray cat’s trust, in the generosity of a child, in a friend’s patience with my vanities, in the movies I reviewed, in the river’s steady flow, even in the most annoying behavior of strangers and loved ones. Certainly I saw it in the enormous kindness you showed when my back injury immobilized me so thoroughly. And the more I was able to see this love, the more I was able to serve it.

Most of us have never before lived through such a period of instability and uncertainly. We have no idea what will happen next nor how it will end. But I do know that when we privilege love as a labor, an economy, a value, and as a guiding force, a utopia is as likely an outcome as a dystopia. Yes, even now. So I invite you to joining me in answering: Where is the love? Today my answer is: You, in your grace, resourcefulness, gorgeous imperfections.

May you shine in the light of this new year.

To chart your 2022, book an intuitive reading. I’m here when you need me.

Ruby Intuition Gift Offerings

As 2021 draws to a close, consider the gift of Ruby Intuition. During this year of great upheaval, I’ve been honored to help chart optimal paths and look forward to charting even more for 2022. Omicron may be ruining our best-laid plans but Zoom energy readings are proving at least as effective as my in-person sessions. They allow intense downloads to be absorbed in the comfort of your own space, and electricity is energy, after all.

Dream medicine sessions are also now available. Designed to decode the psychic messages sent by your highest self, these sessions draw upon tarot, breath work, and your own powerful intuition, help you distinguish between psychic and psychological downloads, and are also useful for those who don’t remember dreams but would like to start.

So book a session, gift a reading, give yourself or another dream medicine, DM, and feel free to share this post. I’m always grateful to reorient you and your loved ones with practical magic, kittens.

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy