Archive | Queer Matters

Teach Me Tonight (NSFW, O My)

I’ve been trying to figure out who to sleep with next–really, who to be attracted to. As if any of us have control in that department.

I always tell my Ruby Intuition clients that the best you can hope for is a version 2.0 of what’s erotically imprinted on you. Because I’ve seen those relationships borne out of someone stubbornly trying Not to Date Mom or Dad and, boy o boy, the no-sex vibe is stronger than Prince’s pheromones are even now.

Which is to say: strong.

As usual, my shrink has useful advice in this department. She says, “The minute you get that Child feeling, get out.” What she means is that when I start to get that desperate, pay-attention-to-me! feeling around a paramour, I should cut it off because once again I have fallen for a charismatic narcissist who would rather drown me in their black hole than make our dynamics about anything other than their ego. Continue Reading →

The Black and Blue Swans of Spring

Lately every time I want to write you I find myself writing my book instead. I need to finish it eventually, and why not now? is my basic thinking, and it’s solid, you can’t deny that. Especially since I feel like everyone and their sister is now involved in this process–that is, ever since I revealed my broke and broken underbelly and almost all of you were awfully nice about it.

Time is money, don’t you know. And more than that: money is time. Meaning when I have free time it doesn’t feel free at all. Now I really feel that I should be working.

When it was raining all the time and we New Yorkers felt like we were on some sort of dystopian Noah’s Ark–which, I’m sorry, the jury’s not out yet on whether we aren’t–it was easy to just keep working and working. But now that spring is actually behaving like spring again, I have to devise all sorts of tricks to keep myself on the straight and narrow.

Not that my book is especially narrow. Or straight. Continue Reading →

Cat Lady Speaks: A Word on Neighbors

I’m sitting down for a morning writing session but am going to get this out so I can actually focus on my book. Consider it a mini-edict on behalf of those of us who don’t treat Brooklyn living as a two-year post-college course. A celebration of NYC’s twin gifts of loneliness and privacy.

Which is to say that somehow along the line I became that woman. Continue Reading →

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy