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Literary Solace: Exceptional Books About Grief

January 28, 2017 in Book Matters, Country Matters, Listing, Spirit Matters

I have cried more in the first week of Donald Trump’s reign of terror than I did in all of 2016. And while I could give you the old razzle-dazzle about how every cloud has its silver lining – and in fact, I do believe that– I’d rather provide a list of books to make you feel less alone. Sometimes literary solidarity is even better than literary solace. Note this list is a tad controversial in terms of its omissions. (For example, no The Year of Magical Thinking,  which I unfashionably regard as a valentine to ladylike dissociation that’s typical of author Joan Dideon.)

FICTION

Disturbances in the Field–Lynne Sharon Schwartz
A satisfyingly sprawling tome about a married pair of New York City artists whose children die in a bus accident, Lynne Sharon Schwartz’s Disturbances in the Field captures the unhappy specificity of grief with an unflinching eye and wonderful descriptions of food, sex, and 1980s Manhattan shimmer.

Shine On, Bright and Dangerous Object–Laurie Colwin
Food writer and novelist Laurie Colwin died unexpectedly of a brain aneurysm in her forties. Though technically she could not have anticipated the brevity of her life, this meticulously constructed novel about a twentysomething woman who loses her husband in a sailing accident suggests an eerie familiarity with the particular pain of an early demise. Like of all of Colwin’s books, it also conveys uncomfortable truths and irrevocable, rushing pleasures. Continue Reading →

The Women in the New-Moon Mirror

January 27, 2017 in Astro Matters, Country Matters, Ruby Intuition, Spirit Matters

Today’s New Moon is in coolly compassionate Aquarius, and is defined by a square between Venus in Pisces (love, love and more love) and tough-lesson Saturn in break-the-mold Sagittarius. In English (not asstro-speak), this new moon is all about impersonally dealing with your personal blocks, especially in terms of how they hold you back from embracing humanity-at-large. Astrological shifts tend to occur just when we need them most, and it’s time for us to check our privilege, our personal biases, and our laziness so we can more fully resist this anti-humanitarian (read: anti-Aquarian) regime. In other words, this will be a powerful lunar cycle if we use it to march into a bigger picture. Goddess knows I’m looking at the woman in the mirror and lacing up my combat boots.

A Mary for Our Time

January 25, 2017 in Age Matters, Country Matters, Essays, Feminist Matters, Spirit Matters, TV Matters

It’s not just that I loved Mary Tyler Moore. It’s that I needed her, especially when I was a confused little person growing up in the 1970s with no desire to be a housewife and very few models of women working in TV, which already was what I wanted to do. There were the beleaguered mothers in my neighborhood and also the office secretaries perpetually bemoaning their single-girl status, and then there was MTM on her eponymous show, living in a cute-as-pie pied-à-terre with no husband telling her to make dinner and a great gig and no apparent regrets. Mary had the greatest best friend in America–who wouldn’t want to live downstairs from wise-cracking, warm-hearted Rhoda?—and Mary loved everyone she could, including her gruff boss (oh, Mr. Graaaant!) and her simpering coworkers. She was gorgeous and hilarious and idiosyncratic and sharp, a vision in pantsuits and clever retorts and triple-take stammers and and just the best, best legs. She organized her medicine cabinet alphabetically and served cognac and coffee and didn’t pretend to be dumber than she was, even if she did suffer too many fools. (Even at age 6 I felt this strongly.) She was made for TV–movies never quite captured the scope of her down-to-earth elegance—but she also made over TV. Through Mary, we got used to women who lived alone joyously–ones who presided over a newsroom unapologetically, who knew how to be good friends with women and men, who Long Tall Sallied everywhere with compassion, confidence, and clarity. Continue Reading →

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy