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Mercury Retrotrades, and Boy Does It Ever

Woof! I spent the last 36 hours in tech hell and framily heaven. First I dropped my Airpods in the bathtub, and managed to recover them only through the magic of a Youtube tutorial and my hairdryer. Then my Macbook completely died–and lest this passive voice seem suspicious, trust me when I say a jar of dill pickles sailed out of a cabinet and landed on said Macbook with the might of a thousand dybbuks. With it died 11 months of writing because I hadn’t been properly backing up since Covid began.

Note that I’m not defending my sloppiness; merely reporting it with no small measure of chagrin.

But as frustrating as the breakdown of my devices has been, things could be so much worse. I am beyond lucky to have such lovely, generous, patient friends willing to share their amazing range of skills and savvy and resources with me, and I am grateful for this reminder. Not to mention: This kerfuffle comes right on time because Mercury retrograde begins tomorrow, enforcing the break we all need from our 11-month reliance on tech since it is taking place in Aquarius, which rules technology and networking.

Retrogrades tend to be most disruptive at their beginnings and ends, so over the next two days and from February 19-21, all things transportation and telecommunication may get especially fritzy. The good news? This forced reboot will also reboot our overtaxed, completely traumatized central nervous systems.

So why not lean in? Yes: it’s extremely annoying that our phones, tablets, computers, wifi and cable connections, and social media will likely go on the fritz over the next three weeks. But during this time, give yourself permission to unplug as much as you want. “Just say no” to Zoom. Sketch. Make music. Go for walks. And nap whenever you wish.

When we let them, Mercury Retrogrades enable us to more deeply connect with ourselves and each other. As my man Obi-Wan is wont to say: Trust the Force, Luke.

Space Crone Rides the Elevator: A One-Act Play

SETTING: An extremely generic elevator in a West Village office building. It is Month Quadrillion in Quarantime.

PLAYERS: A 50-year-old broad-shouldered, broad-breasted broad, armored in full space crone gear (blonde and grey braids; fur hat, fur boots, fur fingerless gloves, sunglasses, and double mask–all purple). A 30ish cis-male of same height, clad head to toe in expensive muscles and athletic gear, including Apple Airpods Pro and inexplicably white and dry Nike Air Force Supreme trainers though outside it is sleeting.

ACT I: Space crone enters elevator car and sighs in relief upon ascertaining it is empty. Just as doors are closing, a hand snakes in and cis-male, maskless and jabbering loudly into phone via airpods, jumps in.

SC (shoving her foot in doors before they shut completely): Put a mask on or get off.
CM (into phone, without looking at her): Nobody. (He jabs “shut doors” button while SC stares at him intently, keeping foot in doors.) Some bitch, I don’t know. (Jabs button again.)
SC (fists clenched): I know you’re not deaf. So hear me when I say I will jump your ass if you don’t GET THE FUCK OFF THIS CAR. (Raises fists, takes a step forward, eyes flashing.)
CM (jumps out, yells): Crazy old cunt! (SC smizes as doors clang shut definitively.)

On the Nose

This morning I watched Senate MAJORITY leader Chuck Schumer deny Senate MINORITY leader Mitch McConnell’s proposal to affirm to spare the filibuster as part of a power-sharing deal, and trust me, it was hot. Like all all of the GOP, McConnell will continue to act like he’s running things until he’s not enabled anymore, and I’m so glad Schumer is such a tough New Yorker. The media–and all of us– need to metabolize the fact that these white supremacist cockocrats have been stripped of power instead of acting like PR people for them. AKA it’s time to stop explaining GOP outrageousness to ourselves or (worse) to them. I mean, if it helps you motivate, by all means. But my sense is deplatforming right-wing nonsense is healthier and more powerful. (The weak showing at the state capitol inauguration “protests” proved that.) We who are invested in a flourishing multiracial democracy and economy must keep our eyes on the prize and keep putting pressure on our elected officials to do the same. In the words of the hallowed sage Liz Lemon: “SHUT’EM DOWN.”

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy