Archive | Ruby Intuition

Self-Reckoning Is No April Fool

This clever but devastating New Yorker cartoon is pretty much the motto of Mars in Scorpio and Mercury in Capricorn—both of which can be found in my natal chart. Officially we say that all astrological aspects are positive. And of course this is true, in the sense that everything offers growth. But it is also true that certain elements of our natal charts are more challenging than others. Thus I am not the sort of person who thinks of things she wishes she’d said. Rather, I am the sort of person who, when threatened, says things other people wish they could forget. As April begins and we dig into a new year of astrology, I offer this transparency to inspire your own. Ask yourself: What tools have I allowed to become weapons? What personal traits and astrological elements are my help and hindrance? In my intuition practice, I love this part of soul-expansion. For contrary to contemporary belief, self-love is not blanket self-acceptance. It is ruthless self-reckoning coupled with powerful compassion.
After a Mercury Retrograde-inspired break, I am once again offering readings Wednesdays and Saturdays; get in touch.

An Earl and a Countess

Larry Rivers, “Formal Marriage Portrait Of Earl And Camilla McGrath.”

I’ve been reading a ton about Earl McGrath, the ultimate mid-20th-century arts-world mover and shaker– the only thorn who ever truly pierced Eve Babitz‘s side. Besties with Mick Jagger and Andy Warhol, the godfather of Harrison Ford’s kids, pals with Jasper Johns and Aretha Franklin and Babs and you name it, Jesus (probably Jesus too), he presided over everyone’s parlor, curating the best be-ins and the slyest jokes. Continue Reading →

The Russian Dolls We Carry

I broke up with the Legend–or, really, my relationship with the Legend ended–because he ignored me in front of his ex-wife’s current wife and her infant son. If that sounds complicated, it’s actually a lot more complicated, but the bottom line is he clung to the sense of family that his ex and her clan provided him, and played uncle to her son as well as her sister’s kid. I’d always empathized with his desire to do so. But this meant that he was ignoring me in front of his people, and the sting was profound. It was hardly the first time he’d thrown me under a bus, but I suddenly saw how little he’d ever rally for me, how little I meant to him, and that only one path extended from that moment on my personal timeline.

And that path was Legend-free.

That’s exactly how I saw it. Even as I blew up at him later, even as I railed to friends, even as I masturbated with a violent grief, some part of me already was watching dispassionately from a future I now knew existed. A future in which this man I loved had no place.

That’s how I explained the breakup to people as soon as I was sure it would stick. With concern and maybe a little ennui knitting their features, they’d say, “How are you doing?” And I’d say, “I’m in the future now.”

I knew it was true even though I didn’t yet understand what I was saying. Continue Reading →

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy