Archive | Ruby Intuition

New Moon Rising (Through the Past)

Darkdarkdark, and yet I’m up, roused by the prayer I uttered before falling asleep last night. Help me go from there to THERE in this bildungsrosman that I’m writing, I asked higher spirit, divine mommy, the universe–whatever you call the whole-is-greater-than-the-sum-of-its-parts energy that holds us all like we’re kittens.* At 4:30 am I was pulled awake in the darkdarkdark with the gift of where to go and how; now I’m just waiting for coffee to move me onto that path. The sun’s not up, but it will be.

*I call it G-d.

Home of the Heart

Last night I had the anxiety dream about homelessness that I’ve anticipated since losing my jobs last spring.

I rarely talk about my fear of homelessness, especially with married friends. When I do, they say things like, “You won’t be homeless. You can stay with us.”

When I report their assurances to my shrink, a practical woman who knows from rough times, she raises her eyebrows. “People think they’re being supportive,” she says. “But staying on their couch would not be the same thing as having a home.”

My shrink never sweetens realities. Maybe she does with other people, but she is well-acquainted with my capacity to om-shanthi myself right into destitution. I’ve done it before.

It reminds me of a joke I tell clients. Continue Reading →

The Temple of Rosh HaLunar

New moon, new moon, new moon! I haven’t been this excited for a moon in a dog’s age, and it’s appearing in hyper-controlling Virgo just as ocean god Neptune opposes Mercury and Mars in Virgo, and Venus sits pretty in this sign as well. What does it all mean? That this lunar cycle is less about tossing what doesn’t work and more about making cozy, clean order out of what does–even if it’s as nebulous and dreamy as Neptune himself. I complain about Virgo all the time, but the truth is she’s the healer of the zodiac. We feel safe and seen under her g-d-is-in-the-details gaze even when we rebel against the boundaries she sets. Continue Reading →

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy