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Lost…and Found?

June 30, 2015 in City Matters, Past Matters, Spirit Matters

For the first time since September 13, 2001–two days after New York City and I changed forever–I lost my wallet today. The circumstances of the two disappearances were so similar: The losses (or thefts, I’m not sure which) both took place on the L Train between 1st Ave and Williamsburg when I was already emotionally devastated; I even reported them at the same MTA police station. What’s weirder is I’d just replaced my wallet for the first time since I’d replaced the one lost in 2001. Not to mention that my car–which I got on September 6, 2001–has been dying this month and I’ve been gathering the resources to buy a new one.

I’m trying to sort out the significance of these events because I know there’s lemonade in this story, and I’m determined to drink it. (All insights welcome.) For one thing, I tend to view lost possessions as the equivalent of the “death” card in the tarot deck–symbols of upheaval, harbingers of life-defining shifts. So these losses feels especially meaningful, as if I’m shedding a host of identities that no longer apply. For the love of Pete, I literally lost my identity cards. All this jibes with the enormous changes I’ve been courting since my back injury impelled me to seek new levels of healing, communion, insight. Certainly it’s true that, unlike the helpless girl I was 14 years ago, today I played Damsel in Distress to no one–didn’t cry or alert loved ones until I’d cancelled cards, called the bank, gathered my composure. I even had a backup driver’s license and bank card at the ready in my home office. Also new: The cops were much, much hotter than I remembered them.

Grace and Proud

June 27, 2015 in Cat Lady Matters, Country Matters, Spirit Matters

Every time Obama invoked grace during his landmark eulogy at Reverend Pinckney’s memorial, my permakitty bounded into the room and stationed herself in front of the television, as puffed up as could be. “I AM Grace and I serve at the pleasure of the President!” What a day. Between the Supreme Court’s marriage-rights decision and Obama’s pure and powerful testimony, our hearts were bursting with pride to be Americans, even as we mourned the lost souls of Charleston. So much is still a mess but our President said it best: “Today we have made our union a little more perfect.” I am very grateful, and so, apparently, is Grace.

Venus in All Her Inglory

June 24, 2015 in Astro Matters, City Matters, Spirit Matters, Style Matters

It’s only Wednesday and already I consider this week a bust. Normally I would dismiss that attitude as the worst kind of negativity but there just have been so many hurt feelings and misunderstandings all around. I chalk it up to the shadow of Venus retrograde, which lasts three months, only takes place every few years, and governs unresolved mishegos in areas of relationships, money, and all things aesthetic. Expect old family conflicts to resurface, ex lovers to show up, long-simmering fights with partners to rear their ugly heads. Not to mention awkward haircuts, zits out of nowhere, and–o my–nothing in the closet. Goddess knows that’s all been true in my life lately.

Yesterday I found a favorite pair of earrings that had been long misplaced. I wore them all around town like a proud peacock and then promptly lost one on my walk from the gym to the L train. I combed 14th street three times in my search for it and, while doing so, ran into work colleagues. Naturally I was clad in sweaty spandex shorts, greasy pigtails, and a cut-up tee shirt announcing in neon yellow letters: I LOVE GERMAN GIRLS. I looked so professional I could cry. It goes without saying that the earring never turned up. On my way home I walked by some new graffiti that was so VR it made me smile though I felt for the artist’s angst. See above.

My advice, Sirenaders: take an extra deep breath before leaving the house and opening your trap, make no drastic changes to your appearance, home or relationships, and escape as soon as possible to the sea. Friday I’m heading to the relatively pristine waters of Long Beach, where I plan to smile a big oystery smile and offer a mermaid song of submission.La de da….

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy