Friends, we are all struggling no matter where we are. But I’m having a hard time with tone-deafness.
For the people in less-afflicted areas, I’m glad for your nature communion. Sorry you’re tiring of TV offerings and snack options and that your trip was cancelled. Mildly amused by memes about how your hygiene and health routines are suffering. Even glad for those who are embracing this time as an opportunity for “radical self care.”* But speaking as a New Yorker I can’t walk a block without stumbling over a homespun sidewalk memorial for a neighbor who was just felled or an ambulance whisking someone else away.
So many people I know are sick, people I love and admire in my immediate world. It all hurts, even the deaths of the people you didn’t especially care for. And then of course there’s the terror of your personal welfare. The fear of the many unemployed. The fear of our deplorably unprotected essential workers. Most New Yorkers have no safe outdoor space whatsoever and for those of us who don’t have a second home or family we can run to, what is happening in real time is unfathomable. Because for many of us there is no other place.
Either we were raised here or this city welcomed us outcasts and it was here that we finally found a home. We loved that we were all crowded together–in it together–even when we complained, and now that has been ripped from us though we’re still all crowded in the same place. Only now it’s not “crowded.” It’s “caged.” And I’m relatively lucky as a New Yorker. I have enough food in my fridge, savings to get me through a few more months, framily support.
I am not saying anyone should feel guilty, it’s a useless emotion. I am saying we should be careful about what we put out there. Especially while so many of us are sick and dying and grieving and losing everything we thought shored us.
Don’t abstract this trauma. Don’t expect “good vibes only” when some of us legitimately feel a roaring black hole of loss and rage and fear. Don’t expect us to be available for business as usual while our entire worlds are tumbling down around our heads.
I send love and I feel yours too. But we are all going to have to take it up a notch in terms of how we compassionately and consciously hear and tell our stories–me included. A new etiquette is required–a new social contract for these no-contact times–and we’re just going to have to fumble our way through. Patience is the new praxis.
To me it’s fairly clear that Trump is holding on to necessary supplies until the Red and Swing States need them, at which point he’ll come to their rescue to ensure their votes. It’s cynical, and thus, I am sorry to say, likely true. Which means that he’s committing genocide–I am watching it happen in real time in the city where I live–and all pretenses of non-fascism have been dropped.
The electoral college is dreck. The alleged checks and balances are dreck. Federalism itself is dreck. We’re back to functioning as individual states–not that I didn’t feel my true country was already NYC rather than the USA.
Nothing is in place to address the self-serving virulence–and, yes, that noun is very deliberate–of a demon leader masquerading as a human being. For what threatens us most is Virus Trump, propagated by his cronies and cult members; by ignorance, greed, and selfishness (aka capitalism). One very small satisfaction: After we are released back into the wild, people may spread out across the country since living clumped together will re-trigger trauma. If that occurs, consider how this will radically change that our alleged electoral college and overall elections. O how the GOP will then weep.
The American experiment is over. Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, I had an egg sandwich for lunch.
Friends, I know I’ve been quiet here but it’s because I’ve been cooking up a way to be of service. After weeks of soul searching and software re-searching, I am happy to announce I am now booking Zoom appointments for my Life in the Time of COVID-19 tarot readings. To divine how to serve yourself and others during this upheaval, this spread focuses on tools to activate your personal healing and expansion. My goal is to support everyone—myself included—during this time of great need and great change. No one will be turned away due to lack of funds, and you are welcome to donate more or book a comprehensive intuitive session if you are financially sourced. Call it an economy of love, because love will be our only true currency as we rise from the ashes of illness and hardship.
To book a session, check rates, or learn more, see my new site. And please share this post if you’re so inspired. I deeply wish to help as many people as possible to shine and strengthen so we may collectively thrive moving forward.