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Brand New Heavy

774109179I woke up early for the first time in months, wrote for two hours, and then bounced down to the coffee shop to fetch a laaarge americano. The winter sun was bright if distant (like so many of my lovers; like me, arguably), the Brand New Heavies were blasting in my ears–“I like it!”–and I felt positively ecstatic that all I had to do was duck back home, throw open the windows, and write some more on a topic I genuinely find interesting. It’s amazing what a difference a day makes. Having finally fixed the website problems that have been hanging over my head for weeks, the rest of my routine–which only yesterday seemed Sisyphean–feels like a winter trip to the Bahamas.

Moon Marching, Clocks Stopped

Today is the Chinese New Year and the beginning of a new moon cycle. I have not talked or written much in a week. Life is difficult in a way that is not aided by narration. It is difficult in a stop the clocks way, though that is not my story to tell. I have been in Massachusetts, and Gracie has been, too. Bringing her with me has proved ill-advised though she behaved beautifully in her carrier. She’s such a polite kitty. Sometimes I speak about her archly but the truth is I never feel alone so long as she is by my side; she is the truest of companions.

That said, my overfamiliar only loves me, which makes catsitting her problematic. She does not like when others visit when I am not home. She does not like staying in others’ homes when they are there, especially when I am not.

I brought her with me to Massachusetts as an experiment of sorts. Could I leave her with my goddaughters and their father in the Greater Boston Area while their mom and I journeyed further into New England for our annual mid-winter adventure? As it happens, it was a failed experiment. Circumstances drastically shifted, and I stayed with the girls while their parents braved the New England blizzard to face a different kind of storm. A bluer one. Continue Reading →

Beyoncé in Center Field

Beyoncé at the Super Bowl. Arranging her dancers in an X formation, strapping everyone into Black Power gear. Throwing back her throat, pumping her fist, singing with all her ancient power and youth:

Always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper.

Every time I think of what she pulled off, I start crying. In every way, she is using her center field to say: wake up, wake up, WAKE UP, America. The least we can do is listen.

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy