O L TRAIN HIPSTER
NEW YORK IS JUST YOUR GAP YEAR
BUT ACT RIGHT ON THE TRAIN
NO MATTER HOW CUTE
TAKE THAT KNAPSACK OFF YOUR BACK
OUR SPACE MATTERS TOO
OPEN LAPTOP ON TRAIN
YOU’RE ASKING TO GET RIPPED OFF
I MEAN, FOR REAL: DUH
HELP VOCAL FRY
BEFORE MORNING COFFEE SO
I MAY HAVE TO KILL
LOOK THAT GUY IS OLD
THAT WOMAN’S VERY PREGNANT
GIVE UP YOUR DAMN SEAT
I AM WRITING THESE
SO I DON’T GET ARRESTED
I’D RATHER PUNCH YOU
Growing up in New England, the land of eternal blizzards and subzero temps, I learned to hate snow, just hate it. I devirginized a guy in the snow when I was 16 and he was 17 and nothing about it was romantic or idyllic. All I could think was: Jesus, this is a stupid idea, I have snow in every crack. But living in NYC, the snow has its charms. It transforms our worst into kids with saucer eyes and wonder in their hearts, for one thing. On the subway, even the most snarly UES social X-ray or OG manspreader is as cute as a button, all zipped up and snuggly in layers upon layers like a Star Wars character we haven’t met yet. I send love to every single person in my finely feathered city. Stay warm, you crazy apples.
Given that not even Jesus was born this time of year, I’ve never put much stock in the changing of the Christian calendar. I do adore all opportunities to reevaluate and reboot, though, so I’m doing a block of Ruby Intuition readings January 1. Think black-eyed peas, jazz divas on the turntable, and the past, present, and future arranged in the tapestry you need to shine as your best self. To schedule one in person or by Skype for yourself or a pal, RSVP to lisa@rubyintuition.com. Come for the fun, leave with a plan.