Archive | Church Matters

The Church of Eternal Sparkles

I wake and for a few seconds savor the uncharacteristic stillness of my neighborhood and the chirping of birds, agog: “I got the best crusts of panettone for christmas!” “The people in #3L gave me brioche crumbs!” Then I turn on all the holiday lights and put on my favorite holiday albums–Stevie, Jackson 5, Vince Guaraldi, Otis, the Supremes, Smokey, Mariah (yes), Prince (double yes). I’ve decorated my whole front room in a mermaid pagan Jewish Middle Church menagerie of gold and blue lights, green and red candles, birds and giraffes and cats, pine cones and pine branches (rescued from deli trash, for reals), and blessed blessed menorahs and Mother Marys. This is how I pierce the darkness of ambiguity and abnegation–with my own admixture of faiths, inherited and inspired. First and foremost: what pleases my inner 8-year-old, forever tapping her foot and mending her heart. Sparkling and soaring, that’s what she likes. So I decorate what I can, breathing in the joy of time with my loved ones in days before and to come (gosh, I’m the luckiest lady), and allow the loveliest permakitten to arrange herself decorously on my lap. From here I can dream up anything.

The Church of Unseen Children

I became an adult at age 6, when I first realized no one would dry my tears but me. What happened that day is a story I may tell another time, but my point here is that there is something very ancient and very tragic about the child who weeps without hope of comfort. In short, they are no longer a child, but an adult who carries the world’s weight on shoulders too small to sustain it. Continue Reading →

The Church of Mary’s Wrath

mary's roosterOn the heels of Wednesday’s Carrie carnage, this morning I shuffled into the kitchen and a painting of Mother Mary (Mother Freaking Mary!) flew off the wall, shattering three wine glasses on its way down as well as a rooster-shaped candy dish that I love so much I actually wrote an essay about it. You know it’s serious when gentle, loving Mary, the very essence of the divine feminine, expresses wrath–via a rooster, no less. Am I being haunted by my higher self, Samhain style? Doth my unconscious runneth over? Is today’s new moon in Scorpio breaking everything down to enforce a bruja breakthrough? Whatever, man. I am aware that nothing is more throw-down than messing with a Capricorn’s things. So, universe: I accept your challenge. But what exactly is it?

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy