Archive | Spirit Matters

The People We Choose

There’s nothing better than gussying up for a girl date, romantic or otherwise. Heck, all girl dates are romantic. At the very least, you know that those small flourishes have a good chance of being appreciated. Exhibit A: my dear friend Rachel and me. Last night, along with another sweet lady, we had midcentury prime rib and cocktails at Midtown’s Smith & Wollensky, the most midcentury steakhouse of them all. (We also ate creamed spinach, if you need a complete picture.) When I got home, I felt soothed rather than savaged, which reminded me of a favorite quote from the Los Angeles essayist Eve Babitz:

I had a collection of lovers to keep me warm and my friendships with women, who always fascinated me by their wit, bravery, and resourcefulness, and who never told you the same story twice. I mean, you can go places with a woman and come back just fine. As my agent, Erica, plowed right in and said: “You know when you have dinner with a girlfriend, you’re going to come back a whole human being.”

*Update: Part of me hesitated before putting up this post since it seems retrogressive in terms of its gender polarity. So, to be clear: I am talking about anyone who embraces womanhood–the whole spectrum, from transwomen to delicious butches who uphold their womanhood (just not their femininity, which to my mind is super different).

Venus Retrograde Spares No Star

This may be the most annoyingly astrological and celeb-obsessed post that this former Us Weekly staffer will ever write but I can’t help being amused that Jennifer Aniston finally got remarried during the always-blighted Venus Retrograde. One look at the smug mugs she and her new spouse are sporting here and you just know that the reprieve from the sadsack single girl public persona she cultivated for 10 years is bound to be short-lived. As my grandmother used to say, “Good luck to you and the Red Sox!” Add in the recently announced Gwen Stefani-Gavin Rossdale and Ben Affleck-Jennifer Garner divorces, not to mention the resurrection of the rumors that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett (Smith) are on the rocks, and, Ruth, you know it’s the truth: Lady Venus spares no star. I can’t pretend I don’t take solace in this fact as she guides me through the burnt embers formerly known as my love life.

This Witch’s Brewing

So many aspects of my life are in the air right now. It’s not my way to share such details online but suffice it to say I’m living in Destabilization Nation, and my back knew this upheaval was on the horizon long before my conscious self could tolerate such information. If I’m quiet–and I really have been–it’s because I don’t have much that’s nice to say and I know these problems are mine alone to solve. Only one thing is really conferring joy, and it’s writing the book I’ve been afraid to write ever since I became a grownup (which was 40 years or 4 months ago, depending on who you are talking to). I pray for the temerity to finish it and the providence to find it many homes. Writing something big and personal is like tunneling in the darkest of mud with no guarantee of light to come. The hope remains, though, and the existence of that hope gives me more hope. Experience has taught me that my dreams come from a source that I can trust more than anything around me. It’s the biggest love, the one we all share–the one to share. Really, that’s our only job.

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy