A Witch in the Wardrobe

Things I have learned from pruning my entire wardrobe over the last three days: 1. I never wear turtlenecks–so claustrophobic!–though I periodically think buying them is a good idea. 2. I never wear pure wool–so itchy!–though people gift me with it all the time. 3. I’ve kept one prized garment of each of my past lovers, none of which I feel the need to keep anymore. (Neither the lovers nor the garments.) 4. I no longer find very frilly or flowered things cute–so jejune! 5. I no longer have the patience for very short dresses or skirts–so restrictive! 6. Until today, half my possessions had holes, ripped hems, permanent stains, and were badly tailored if tailored at all. 7. Practically everything I like is a glamorous fabric of some sort: cashmere, velvet, fur, pleather, gold llame, sequins, tweed, suede, sateen, Egyptian cotton. 8. Nearly everything I own must be air-dried or dry-cleaned. 9.  I still think platform shoes are an excellent idea, but mostly I wear fur-lined clog boots or sneakers in bold pastels. 11. Layering long coats over dresses over skirts with two scarves, fingerless gloves, a serious necklace, a big hat, bright lipstick, and enormous patterned sunglasses is apparently my favorite. 12. My chief fashion icon seems to be Mrs. Who on acid rather than Audrey Hepburn on acid, as it once was.

In sum, I am only out to please myself and no longer sing for my supper. Which is to say: I am an unmarried woman in her 40s.

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy