As of last evening, Donald Trump is the presumptive Republican nominee for U.S. president, which means that all the dystopias are real and that the hatred lurking in our increasingly bifurcated country is blowing up hard. On the other hand, five planets are in retrograde, which happens approximately once a decade. I keep telling myself that with so much astrological mayhem afoot, we’re essentially inhabiting Bizarro World right now. That, come November, everything will smooth out and the Orange Man will die on the vine.
What with the heavens exploding all around us, New Yorkers have gone rather batty over the last few days. It used to be such battiness was business as usual, but as rents have steadily increased, so have the rates of NYC normalcy. Though it’s rarely acknowledged, New Yorkers have become some of the nation’s biggest conformists since the “Friends”-style gentrification began with the Rudy Giuliani Reign of Terror. Every generation of NY mourns the one that preceded them, of course, but I think I am right in preferring the Lady Bunnies of Alphabet City over the assless chaps who now preside over Nouveau Brooklyn. Continue Reading →
As of Thursday, Pluto, Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, and Mercury all will be retrograde, a quintuple whammy that almost never takes place. I don’t hate retrogrades–they amplify the power of a planet until we submit to its lessons, basically–but business as usual is out the window. Expect deep, pattern-changing work in most areas of your life: Saturn is the harsh teacher; Pluto is the god of the unconscious; Mars is the god of war; fleet-footed Mercury governs communication and travel; and Jupiter rules, well, everything. Of course, of course: Back up your electronics, buy insurance, and serve plenty of cream with your coffee in even the simplest of exchanges. But more than that, serious paradigm-shifting is in order. As we’ve already seen (Prince, Beyoncé, the primary), it’s time to make the lemonade.