I was racing to the subway and forgot my headphones because it’d been a while since I had to block out my immediate surroundings, which is to say I’d been blissfully living in the country. So I got on the L and immediately felt like weeping because I was bombarded with vocal frye club prattle. Then a boy danced onto my car and announced he was selling a pair of iPhone headphones for $10. Well, you just knew they were used and nasty but it gave me an idea so I bought them (for $5, there’s no wet behind my ears) and before heading to my destination scooted over to the Apple Store to trade them in for ones that worked. I mean, in all my years in this city no one’s ever sold headphones on a car I’ve been on before so what are the odds it happened today? But that’s the NYC shuffle, isn’t it? Everything’s a struggle but there’s magic thrown in to lighten your load. I just wish I still was as sure I was as a young woman that this hard-won magic is worth it.
Archive | City Matters
Loser Without His Mezuzah
November 25, 2017 in Cat Lady Matters, City Matters, Country Matters
I’m back in Brooklyn. The drive from Boston took all day because A. My car battery died at the start of the trip. B. While waiting for AAA I fell into a corgi puppy time-space continuum. C. Some dumb gentile caused a 3-car pile-up and 17-mile traffic jam on the Merritt Parkway because he failed to properly secure a Christmas tree on his car roof. (I swear he tied it on with a hair ribbon.) I am now swilling all the wine and Thanksgiving leftovers, and clutching a certain permakitten for dear life. Sidebar: This Yuletide season I am not feeling Jew-ish. I am feeling JewEST. Newly emboldened white supremacists will do that to a semi-Semitic girl. Let there be a mezuzah on every American door post!
Road to Nowhere
November 19, 2017 in Cat Lady Matters, City Matters, Country Matters, Spirit Matters

