Archive | City Matters

When Time and I Collide

With my Sunday supper bubbling in the oven, I guess it’s time to call it: I crashed into walls the entire weekend. Yesterday I wrote and read and forgot everything I remembered. On the way to dinner, I ran into two different friends and couldn’t recall their names or even how I knew them. Today I went to Meg to fetch a pair of pants I’d specially ordered and realized they simply weren’t for me. I ran for the ferry only to arrive as it was pulling away from the dock. I left my bag at the 1st Avenue L stop, and dashed back from Brooklyn just in time to catch two guys rifling through it across the platform. “Gentlemen!” I called across the divide. “Do you mind watching my bag until I can get back to your side?” They pointedly looked away when I arrived in front of them, red-faced and panting with my hand outstretched, but handed it over.

It didn’t matter, any of it. I got home in time to make the lasagna I’d planned. I eventually remembered who my friends were. And my bag still contained the purple scarf I made the winter I couldn’t stop knitting, the long fingerless gloves that make me feel like Jo March, the notes from today’s session with brilliant astrologer and general wise lady Virginia Bell. Continue Reading →

The Arithmetic of Snow

Here on the East Coast we are in the midst of a good old-fashioned blizzard. I’m not sure if that’s the official word but the snow has been coming down for 15 hours; the sidewalk, stoops and street outside my apartment are covered in two feet of snow; and everything and everybody has been cancelled. That’s a blizzard even to this Masshole. (I’ve lived in Brooklyn for 23 years but once a Masshole, always a Masshole.)

I’m been the queen of preparation this round. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned about living alone, it’s that gender coding is an ill-advised luxury; when you have to cook, shovel, clean, and fix everything from hems to technology to radiators yourself, it’s a bad call to get the vapors or cry caveman. Bundled in a wearable sleeping bag, face mask, and two scarves, it’s impossible to tell whether someone is a man, woman, non-binary gender person, or a “Revenant” bear, anyway.

So yesterday after reading distressing weather reports, I headed over to Red Hook Fairway, where I bought enough food to stock my refrigerator and freezer for two weeks (which is how long it’ll probably be before I’m able to safely drive Minerva again). I bought wonderful things: thick pork chops, lamb, dried apricots, pistachios and pecans, crushed tomatoes, ricotta, extra virgin olive oil, thick Greek yogurt, a roasted chicken, challah bread, a jug of organic cream, rosemary, mint, kale, and copperhead salmon. My enthusiasm was only mildly hampered by the fact that, even at 9 am, the store was clotted by Park Slopers who didn’t feel it appropriate to reign in their free-spirited children as the rest of us tripped over them. Continue Reading →

This Year’s Laundry

As I write this, I’m watching Metropolitan Avenue through the big windows at the laundromat, which is arguably one of the bleakest places you can be, especially on a sleety Sunday evening in January. It’s a bleakness that doesn’t usually bother me, even though at a certain age going to the laundromat is an exercise in self-reckoning. I’m cheered by the communal nature of everyone’s resignation –the kids pushing each other in baskets, the mothers and fathers chattering as they fold, the millennials who appear shocked they’re washing their own clothes, the aging artists gritting their teeth as they measure out detergent. Sometimes I talk with others; as recently as last month I went on a few dates with a man I met there. Tonight I’m just annoyed–annoyed that at this ripe old age I don’t have my own washer and dryer, annoyed by the kids’ shrieking, annoying by the televisions blaring in the background, annoyed by the chemical smells hanging in the too-damp air. I think my annoyance stems from the fact that I’m at the tail end of my personal year–my birthday is in less than 48 hours–and I’m indulging in a rare dissatisfaction. I truly believe gratitude is the source of all grace and that we always have more than we realize, but tonight I need this dissatisfaction. It fills my sails with the wind to propel forward; it fills me with a hunger I need to sate; it fills my heart with the knowledge it is not yet full. For I recognize the challenge of this new year: I’m at my life’s midpoint, if I’m lucky, and there’s so much more I wish to share.

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy