Archive | City Matters

Hard-Boiled Honey

Today I headed up upstate–L Train to the 4 Train to Metro North–for a lecturing gig with the delightful Westchester Cinema Club. It was a slog and a half for a Sunday morning but I had Jean Knight in my earbuds, a ginger tea in my paw, a hard-boiled egg in my pocket, and a harder-boiled expression on my puss. My game: Whenever another woman gave me the mean-girl once-over, I dropped her a big, juicy wink. “Oh, honey. Your female oppression is showing.”

Hello to All That

Last weekend I went to Philadelphia for the first time in nearly twenty years. Just writing that sentence fills me with awe. Apparently when you live long enough, you become your own personal time machine.

It was a good visit if discombulating, especially since I made the trek without my dearly departed auto Sadie. I went to college on Philadelphia’s Main Line and, though I grew fond enough of the city, I never liked my alma mater or Pennsylvania overall. Over the years I stopped going back, venturing instead to other parts of the world on the occasions that I left Brooklyn.

This time I took Amtrak, which I enjoyed once I adjusted to the lack of privacy. It reduced the travel to a glamorous ninety minutes door to door, and afforded me the luxury of intermittently dozing and ogling the scenery. But something about going without my wheels to the place where I began my adulthood felt stark. Every time I turned a corner, I expected to run into stricken nineteen-year-old Lisa, bristling with unharnessed hormones and newly discovered anger and fear. It was a pleasure to offer that ghost assurances that I’d become some of what she’d hoped to be. It was a pleasure to catch up with friends over gorgeous meals and music.

On the way back to New York, my train was halted, and it reminded me of my move to Brooklyn from Pennsylvania decades before. If you have short pockets and all the patience in the world, you can take commuter rails the entire way between the two cities. It’s something I did constantly in the summer after college, when I’d perched in a professor’s house and shuttled to NYC for job interviews. Continue Reading →

How We Belong to Each Other

I’m amazed once again by the beautiful tenderness of others. It would have been so easy to dismiss my sorrow about losing my beloved auto Sadie as indulgent, disproportionate, even mad. Instead, I received so much gentle kindness yesterday. In some cases it was because others empathized with what I was mourning–the loss of insouciance; the loss of my grandfather (again); the loss of a dear friend, inanimate or not–but generally speaking it was simpler than that. Pain is pain, and to date nothing has robbed us of our basic impulse to tend to those who feel it. I am grateful.

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy