Archive | Etiquette Matters

On the Nose

This morning I watched Senate MAJORITY leader Chuck Schumer deny Senate MINORITY leader Mitch McConnell’s proposal to affirm to spare the filibuster as part of a power-sharing deal, and trust me, it was hot. Like all all of the GOP, McConnell will continue to act like he’s running things until he’s not enabled anymore, and I’m so glad Schumer is such a tough New Yorker. The media–and all of us– need to metabolize the fact that these white supremacist cockocrats have been stripped of power instead of acting like PR people for them. AKA it’s time to stop explaining GOP outrageousness to ourselves or (worse) to them. I mean, if it helps you motivate, by all means. But my sense is deplatforming right-wing nonsense is healthier and more powerful. (The weak showing at the state capitol inauguration “protests” proved that.) We who are invested in a flourishing multiracial democracy and economy must keep our eyes on the prize and keep putting pressure on our elected officials to do the same. In the words of the hallowed sage Liz Lemon: “SHUT’EM DOWN.”

The Trauma of Healing Trauma

There’s a Patton Oswalt tweet making the rounds: This whole country is about to be Tom Hanks in the last scene of Captain Phillips.

For those who didn’t see it, Hanks plays a ship captain who ably protects his crew and passengers from Somalian pirates only to fall apart when they are finally safe. The movie is meh–even problematic in part–but Hanks’ breakdown is so thoroughly affecting that it validates the film’s overall existence. More than that, it haunts you. It isn’t just Hank’s extraordinary acting. It is the emotional accuracy. Continue Reading →

Everyone’s a Superstar to Orbit

As you know, I don’t put much stock in the changing of the calendar year. But I do put stock in what you put stock in—much like the transformative power a beloved object holds after years of us cradling it. So I can feel your resignation and disappointment seeping away tonight—the hope you are harboring however cautiously—and I love it. More than that, I love you. To that end, I offer only one piece of advice for this upcoming year: Do what your heart tells you. Not your brain, not your pelvis, not your ego, not your fear, not your past, not anyone around you. If there is one thing 2020 taught us: there is no institution more powerful than love. Trust this energetic field. More than that: Embody it.

So may we inhabit our bodies respectfully and joyfully in 2021. May we eschew punishing exercise and diet and clothing in favor of whatever helps us relish our bodies even more. And may we be more lovingly present with each other—more sensual, even when we’re not sexual—when we once again can play, dance, dress, dine, hug, smooch, fuck freely. Physical freedom is a gift. When we regain it, let us treasure it accordingly.

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy