Archive | Etiquette Matters

Just Deserts Are Best Eaten With Fangs

This is a story of just deserts and middle age and I am not necessarily endorsing the role I play.

Just now I ran into a guy who was a real thorn in my side pre-Pandemic. He lives next door in what I call Melrose Place, an apartment building mostly populated by young, Italian-born guys who work at the cafe on the first floor. The man in question is actually three weeks older than me, though before the Plague it wasn’t evident from his demeanor.

He had recently left his wife, also our age, because–and this is a direct quote–“she did not make him feel like a man.” This man’s wife made most of the money in their relationship from her excellent art direction and so, upon leaving her, he had been serving espressos next door along with all the other cute boys because, yes, I regret to inform you that this man was quite cute. Handsome, actually, in that mournful, big-nosed, big-pawed way of some Italian men. In fact, I confess that when this man first began to serve coffee next door I found him undeniably attractive. Given my parentage, it is not surprising that I confuse intense self-pity for intense soulfulness in a certain sort of good-looking person. Continue Reading →

Behind the Veil: On Fate and Free Will

Since I resumed my Ruby Intuition practice last week, I have been reminded of “the Future as Santa Claus” phenomenon. This is what I call a tendency to regard the future as both inevitable and preferable—an un-moveable entity that rescues us from our less than optimal realities. It’s an understandable tendency, especially during a time as inhospitable as the last 12 months. Everyone wants to know when and if something is definitely going to happen: Am I going to leave my apartment or job? Am I going to get married? Am I going to proper? Will I and my loved ones be healthy? These are wonderfully human questions. But the real answer, always, is: Maybe. As in: Nothing is 100 percent fated. As in: There’s no underestimating the shaggy, unpredictable, beautiful power of human free will.

You may ask: So why bother getting a reading? And that too is a wonderful question. My answer is that I can offer a Whether Report—the spiritual equivalent of whether you need an umbrella or extra sunblock on a given day. I can perceive what past, present, and future factors are entering and departing your life—-and offer tools to facilitate your best response. What I cannot tell for sure is how fully you will choose to meet these moments. That pesky “human free will” part is actually the most exquisite part of being alive.

I like to think of our experiences on this earth as spiritual GPS. Each of us is on a karmic highway (the Aretha Franklin song never written) and always has a choice about how to navigate it. Yes, there are certain lessons and blessings our souls sign on to encounter. But how we respond to them builds out our actual paths. If we resist these experiences–this flow, if you will–the Universe is just going to guide us into another version of them until we grow accordingly. Annoying, sure. But also: loving. It’s like a parent who plays ball with us every day until we finally learn to catch.

This is why we keep having versions of the same trauma until we heal the initial trauma (often in childhood). It’s also why we have the initial trauma, although I would never suggest that such pain is your fault or your doing. Instead, I’ve come to believe that everything that happens to us is an opportunity to feel the support and love of the Universe even when it is not giving us everything we want or like. Especially then, actually.

Yes, I have been gifted with a longer glimpse of the human timeline than most people. Most times I perceive key figures and facts of your past, present and immediate future even when I don’t wish to. I also have a strong sense of your physical, emotional, and spiritual challenges and strengths before I meet you. And, yes, if pushed, I can usually predict how things are going to go–but that’s because I am good at assessing how ready you and your loved ones are to self-reckon and self-actualize. Rest assured there’s no judgment either way. And that’s not what you really need.

The true joy and satisfaction of your life is contingent upon your meeting the Universe halfway–and the only person who can write that piece of the story is You. How I can serve is by holding a mirror to your best self so you may connect to that person through every curve life throws you.

I am honored to hold your hand when your youngest self is running the show and needs to be soothed by the long-term perspective that your daily self cannot provide. I am honored to tell you everything I see in the past, present, and future that I believe will serve your growth and happiness. But the greatest way I can serve you as an intuitive is by highlighting your highest, most heavenly form and the tools that help you embody that person in your daily life. That’s not just being supported by a divine energy. That’s living as part of a divine energy—and what is more beautiful that that?

Book here for an intuitive reading.

Valentine in Sundry Forms

Once upon a time I loathed this holiday and still think there’s more joy, communion, and revelation to be gleaned outside romantic love than capitalism suggests. But I am an enormous fan of intimacy and vulnerability, and have come to believe this is what St. Valentines is really about. David Whyte writes: “Heartbreak is an inescapable and beautiful question, not the cessation of hope but the closest embrace of what we have wanted or are about to lose.” It may seem odd to write about heartbreak today. To be alive to love is to be alive to loss, though, because love never goes away but it always changes form. The acceptance of that change—even as it hurts, especially as it hurts—teaches us how to embrace the essence of love. Today and every day, may your heart be embraced—especially where it’s been broken open.

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy