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Erma Bombastic’s Bruja Penicillin

Monday was a full moon, an especially powerful one since it followed on the heels of the autumn equinox. Both aspects were all about conserving energy–letting go of what wouldn’t serve in the long, dark nights to come.

That made so much sense that I didn’t want to waste precious energy talking about it. Actually I didn’t want to talk about anything, which I feel more and more as toxic masculinity holds the country hostage in its hideous, withered talons. People keep saying this is its dying gasp, but if there’s one thing I know about power theory, it’s that those who have power never willingly cede it. Revolution is always necessary for systemic change, and most of us in the second year of 45’s oligarchy are too rundown to be as radical as is required.

To be clear, I don’t just feel this poison in the political realm–I feel it in my personal life, my professional life. My DNA. My pussy. And it’s exhausting. Male entitlement has completely drained me. I feel ill–headachey, dyspeptic, itchy, restless. I check my phone a billion times a day, I toss it across the room a billion and one times more. I’m not hungry, I’m too thirsty. You get the point.

So when I got home last night from a particularly trying day on the front lines of the cockacracy, I eyed that big beautiful moon and my disaster of an apartment (I’ve really let things slide since Beau stopped coming by), and resolved to concoct a special chicken soup. This witch’s brew didn’t heal me all at once, but it infused me with the power and wisdom and charisma of Diana and Sophia and Oshun and Yemaya and both Marys and of course Aretha. Also it tasted pretty good. I woke soothed and energized, ready to rise like a pheonix from this country’s flames.

Here’s the recipe. Continue Reading →

Sadly Morning

The mornings are the hardest.

During the day I’m fine. I wear myself out with long walks and writing sessions and chats so that by the time I cook dinner and clean up, I can barely read a page before sleep claims me. I’m grateful for how quickly and heavily it rises up, darkness encircling me like a security blanket—

like a lover’s caress.

But I wake very early. At that hour, the city is stripped of bravado, and so am I. And in that unarmored state, the full weight of loss lands on my chest. Before I can assemble all the very valid reasons we’re no longer together, I miss him. His scratchy voice and soft mouth and enthusiastically punctuated texts; his sweet, sad eyes belying the shtick that’s made him a legend in certain circles. I miss the depth of our connection, the hope we could be happier and more whole as a result. Continue Reading →

F*ck 45: The Ferry Edition

So I just waited for two hours for a ferry because Donald Trump insisted the entire East River waterway be shut down while he flew in to the UN….and then he was late. In the meantime all of us waiting noticed red dots on ourselves and the deck. We looked up and saw snipers everywhere–on the overpass, in helicopters bobbing above us, you name it. I asked the ferry workers if this was had occurred while other presidents were in office. “None of this shit,” said one. “Hellll noooooo,” said another. Those poor dudes. They just kept saying, “Just another 10 minutes, folks” every 10 minutes while Trump grew later and later. “The schnorrer’s even late for this,” said an older woman, eying her melting Fairway groceries glumly.

After a while, I opened up the big bag of chips I’d just bought at Trader Joes and passed it around. Someone else passed around a bottle of wine and we all filled our coffee cups and water bottles and there it was. Instant pahty. Bottom line? Not even DT can stop New York City. We’re too resourceful and too much fun.

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy