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Mercury Retrograde’s Wrinkle in Time

My mother’s mother was not a cozy person. This was to be expected, for no one in my family was cozy. I did not understand I was the type of person who clamored for coziness until I was much older, and by then I’d acquired so many sharp edges that scarcely anyone wished to be cozy with me. This, I believe, is how cat ladies are bred, not born, although I prefer to refer myself as a cat woman. Perhaps this is what happened to my grandmother, as well. Certainly she shared an army-buddy solidarity with her cat Calico that the rest of us never experienced with her.

I’m not sure if I longed for my grandmother’s love or simply to be my grandmother. Alice May, as her few remaining peers called her, was the only true adult in my family, and I duly deferred to her. More than that, I revered her, though at age 11 I already towered over her. Somehow her diminutive stature only made her seem more powerful, as if she were as wise and as peculiarly packaged as Yoda himself. Come to think of it, with her big blue eyes and large, gnarled hands and sunken mouth (Alice May’s dentures never quite fit), she looked like Yoda overall. To the Star Wars-obsessed child I was, the effect was amazing, if utterly subliminal.

As evidenced above, I have finally begun working on my book again. This makes sense, for Mercury Retrograde is an ideal time to revisit long-simmering projects. (The negative aspects of Mercury Retrograde in Aries have been fully documented on this blog lately.) Stay posted, dear Sirenaders, and feel free to cheer me on; I could use your good wind. Feel free to request my cheering in the form of a Ruby Intuition session as well, for Mercury Retrograde is an ideal time to tune into the divine intelligence of the universe, and I love reading for people during these times.

Mars and Me Enraged

I just came home from a bad night a bad week a bad year so far, who am I kidding? Stopped at the bar at the corner before I came back because I had no booze in the house and it seemed wise to take the edge off all the pistons misfiring–the fight I had tonight, the hot-hot-hot flamenco to which I bore witness, the revelation that my burning love for someone had been a tiny subplot in his burning love for someone else. So yes tequila tequila before entering my house. (Don’t want to scare Grace.) Continue Reading →

Sweet Sweet Fascism

I woke craving chocolate cake, as I do when PMSing despite having quit refined sugar or dessert of any kind more than three years ago. It’s miraculous that I gave it up, really, given my passion for sweetening things up literally. Am I utterly vice-free? Goddess no; I’m still more of an isolationist than is healthy, I still drink “adult sugar” as a goddaughter once called wine, I’m still waiting for that last sweet-faced narcissist to leave my bloodstream. But the more I detox my family’s favorite drug–and apparently it takes years to do so–the more I recognize it as one of the most odious and culturally accepted tools of end-stage capitalism. Keep them loggy, keep them sick, and fill their spiritual voids with empty calories. People will swallow the worst kind of shit with a spoonful of sugar, and no one rises to fight from the throes of sugar coma.

"All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love."
― Leo Tolstoy